Arena merch, championship hardware, telemetry art and institutional apparel from a professional sport whose licensing department became self-aware sometime around the third hoodie.
A desk-scale version of the most coveted trophy in Climaxthletics. The replica preserves the championship grin, black pedestal and deeply excessive presentation without requiring you to survive the World Finals.
Product concepts only for now. Each item is branded as though a global sports merchandising machine already exists, because in the Battlegasm universe it absolutely does.
Desk-scale ceremonial replica with black presentation base and exactly enough gravitas to alarm visitors.
Broadcast-style jersey with ranking number, discipline stripe and absolutely no improvement to your Gasm Index.
Neon tour graphic for the inaugural television season. Tasteful from ten feet away. Better from twenty.
For the one event where enthusiasm can create an officiating issue.
Six-phase telemetry diagrams printed like aerospace schematics from a laboratory with poor priorities.
Rankings, signature telemetry, rivalries, career Gasms and several statistics no other sport has requested.
Twenty-four qualify. One gets the Grin. Everyone gets arena lighting reflected in their sunglasses.
Replace what competition takes from you, contractually. Official fluid-loss partner of BATTLEGASM.
Does not grant officiating authority. Will absolutely make people ask.
A statement, not a laboratory result. Legal was unusually specific about this.
You cannot join the Grinners' Circle by purchasing this. Its principal function is disappointing ambitious strangers.
The fan edition. Still thicker than the entire 2019 competition rulebook.
This shop is currently a fictional product catalog. Nothing on this page charges a card, ships a trophy or creates Grinners' Circle membership. A real commerce provider can be connected later without changing the visual product system.